Middle Age Crazy
Your hair is
falling,...no it fell out. Your belly is growing faster than the grass outside
your door. You're thinking of taking up "Tae-Bo", but you move like a
pregnant Yak. In fact you're so out of shape that when you bend down to pick
things up you look for something else to do while you're down there.
But that's just age. There is something else going on as well. You watched Kevin Spacey in "American Beauty", and cried, thinking it was a biography of you.
You bought an earring. You shaved your head. You stopped listening to classic rock and have embraced "Metalica" and even "Creed". You perpetually wear a baseball cap on your bald head --backwards. You begin to speak "street language", all while still walking like a pregnant Yak.
You ARE looking at the teen age girl next door, not in a pornographic way, but in a ...well,....ok perhaps...but CHRIST! What IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Some call it the middle ages, the time of rediscovery, or of reevaluation. I call it the age of crazy.
If it hasn't happened to you yet, it will. Just wait. Some of us experience it more than once. Like in increments.
I had the first at age 30. One day I was fine and 29. Then BOOM, I turned the big 3-0. Suddenly I noticed I wasn't a teenager anymore. Had it stayed there with that revelation it would have been all right. But it didn't. I experimented and danced to the music, and for the most part it all proved harmless. Yet in some cases I acted irresponsibly. But then I settled down and got used to it. Until I turned 40 that is.
The big 4-0 has been for the most part just a re-awakening of the big 3-0 PLUS 10. This time around -- and it has been 3 years since that turn -- its a little less crazy. Oh, I've changed a few things. Lost weight, got a tan. I still have the earring. I started exercising 3 years ago, so when I bend down I can get back up pretty quickly.
The big difference this time around is that I have seemed to mellow a bit. I'm an Aries and for you who know it isn't easy for me to be mellow about anything. But I am. I have 'aged' a bit. A wise person once said, "When you're 20 you worry about what everyone is saying about you....when you are 40, you don't care....and when you turn 60 you find out that no one is talking about you." It's true.
I am who I am. It's a gift from the gods. Sure, I can change, and yes I am concerned about what some people think. People like my boss and wife and friends. But others are going to have to take me the way I am. I'm not going to mold into their idea of who I should be. I've ceased trying to impress the impressible.
But I'm still crazy......