Husbands, Love Your Wife!
Part Two
What Men Need
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Before we can look at how to love our wives, we really have to find out how to love ourselves. Because unless we first know how our needs are met we will never expend the energy to fulfill our wife's needs. So in this part of our discussion we will look briefly at what we as men need from our wives. In discussing the needs of the man we first have to understand that while with variance these might not be not all the needs that men have, but all men share these needs to some extent. Primarily we all share one basic need. A. Need One: The need for respect. I don't know where this need comes from, but
I'm guessing that it comes from What kind of respect do men look for? In today's world of political correctness and equality it is not popular to ask women to respect their husbands. The reason is that the word "respect"often is associated with servitude. Therefore they will not "respect" their husband, because in the popular thinking of today, "I will bow to NO MAN!" This is why the trend in current T.V. shows is to present the husband as a lovable, yet bumbling little boy who doesn't need to be respected as much as he needs to be changed and burped. Sort of what has happened to the perception of parents through such brilliant programming as "The Simpsons" and other shows. That aside, the respect that I am referring
to is an acknowledgement of him
The media of old often projected the wrong light on this in the past. Where often men, especially those who are from a religious background, were taught that the husband is the absolute ruler of the domain. T.V. shows from the early 1950s and 1960s like "Daddy Knows Best" and "Make Room for Daddy" have also helped to contribute to this idea. Yet the point is that whether we are male or female we all want respect. However the kind of respect that a man looks for from his wife isn't servitude but that which recognizes him as the head of the family. Again, this isn't a popular concept today. However, someone has to be the head of the family. In nature and in history this has always been the male of the species. This is a position not of heady ruler-ship, but of responsibility and honor. This doesn't mean that the wife serves her man on bent knee. We're not talking servitude. It's just fulfilling the need of the husband. In a good marriage relationship, both the husband and wife actively participate in the "running" of the marriage. However, just like in a corporation, there is a board of several members, yet only one chairman. The chairman isn't totally in charge, but it has been mutually agreed that he or she is the head which make the final decisions. But he is responsible to the board for his actions, and their welfare is his concern. One has to go a long way to totally deny the nature of a marriage wherein the husband is the head. I have seen marriage after marriage fail where the husbands either by way of weakness or by dysfunction failed to take charge of his household. I have spoken to the wives and heard from their own mouths how they wish he would take charge of the household. If by way of experiment the evidence would show that through the ages the headship of the husband has been essentially an acceptable and successful fact. But before husbands can expect to be respected by their wives they must first love their wives. Without this love for her there will be no respect for you. It doesn't work any other way. So husband, if you want the respect of your wife, you are going to have to learn how to love her. It's not a trade off, you're not doing this in order to get. Because you will find that in loving her, you fulfill your greatest duty as a husband. |
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The main problem
with an acceptance of the "head of the household" title
is that many women denote it with servitude. That of the husband
being the "king" of the house, ruling the subjects
with strength and uncommon wisdom. This too presents a false
picture of respect and of what "head of the house"
means.
Key Points