Husbands, Love Your Wife!
Part One
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Men and Women (The beauty is the difference). What makes women and men different from each other? If you were to do a quick study of men and women you would discover that they are very different in many ways. There have been difference since the beginning of time. There has always been problems in the so called "battle of the sexes". There are hundreds of books on the subject of marriage and relationships between men and women, with more being written all the time. So we can safely assume that there is some kind of problem with the way that men and women relate to one another. Yet for all the books written I believe that most of the problems come from just a simple misunderstanding of a basic truth. We are different. Men and women are "two different breeds of cat". The mistake that is often made by people is that by going to this seminar or any other, or by reading this book or that one, is that men and women will somehow understand one another. That somehow by learning how to tolerate one another we can get along which when examined is the only goal. So that "just getting along" is the ends of the means. Again you can see by the interest generated by books like. "What Women Really Want", "What Turns Men On", that there is a great desire to learn some truths in this area. However, what is missed is that no amount of reading books or attending seminars will help men and women understand one another. True we will learn about what makes each other tick, but we will never understand the "WHY". I may know all the needs of my wife and women in general, but as a man I will never understand those needs or why they are so important. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT MY WIFE'S NEEDS ARE, BUT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO HER. That is because men and women are different in the way they look at things. We perceive things in a different way. What is important to men isn't necessarily important to women, and what is important to women is necessarily important to men.
Women and men think differently. They don't see the same thing in the same way. It is like the old song, "You say "tomato", and I say "to -moto". Men and women don't see eye to eye because for various physical and psychological reasons. But the point is they see thing differently Now let me emphasis that there is NOTHING wrong with this, its just that we are different! Yet the beauty of the relationship between a man and woman IS that difference! In the Bible the story of the creation of woman from man is heart warming because it shows first, that man was made for woman, and woman was made for man. The woman was created to be a "helpmate" of the man "because it was not good that man should be alone" (Gen. 2:18). Yet the actual Hebrew language goes further than what is usually translated into the English word, "helpmate". The word more appropriately means "counselor". That is very important. The point of the matter whether or not you believe in the story of Adam and Eve or not, there is an intelligent design in what we can observe in the relationship between women and men. While one reason -- the procreative-- is obvious, there are other reasons as well. What we are going to see in this series is what those reasons are from the standpoint of husbands relating to the needs of their wives. We are different, but we fit together because we were made for each other in spite of the differences. Remember we can know the needs of the other, but we will never understand the needs of the other. I may know that my wife has a need to feel number one and secure all the time. But I don't understand why that is so important. I don't understand why she feels she needs to be secure for her meaning and purpose to life. Consequently she may not understand why I need her respect and admiration. I thrive on it. When she comes to me with a problem and asks my opinion on it, I pump my chest in the air, and never feel as proud as I do then. It never fails to happen. The entirety of most marital conflict comes not so much from not understanding, but not KNOWING the needs of the other. That's what we are going to look at next when we begin with the marital needs of the man. |
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Marriage
counseling offices are full of people who are under the assumption
that "She should know and understand my needs" / "He
should know and understand my needs", kind of conflict.
Each expects bliss if the other would just "see things their
way".
Key Points